How to auction??

[tbirds]

So what is going to happen to fast Willie. Week three will say a lot. Here is to Pittsburg keeping with the youngster with the hot, fresh legs.

Attending the WWFFL auction pays dividends, eh Mitch (I noticed you had him on your roster)? I expected to pay $1 for him but was prepared to spend all of my available cash - and did. Unfortunately Darren subsidizes his complete lack of football knowledge by just bidding on whoever Scott and I bid on (Darren couldn't tell you who Willie Parker was to save his life at the auction).

Your ultra-dramatic auction style didn't help either.

Willie Parker, do I hear a bid for Willie Parker. Who is Willie Parker. RB? RB for Pittsburgh. $20 (30 second pause). Willie Parker going once (30 second pause), Willie Parker going twice (60 second pause while Darren tries to determine if Willie is a real player or not)....

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Darren: "$21"

And I'm out of cash.

Thankfully FWP will be losing 3rd downs and goaline carries pretty soon - otherwise I'd be pretty sore about it. He wouldn't be starting for the TBirds anyway.

Fast Ronnie Dayne will be starting in Denver anyway, so I have my 4th RB.

[waxx]

Pu-lease Rick... I will give many thanks to the WWFFL for shining some light on Willie Parker for me. I went into my draft targeting him as a direct result.

However, because I did not know much about him... how could I have pushed his value? Sounds to me like you need to manage your money better. What happened to all this talk that in an auction/salary cap league, if you want somebody, you can get them?

Ultra-dramatic? Seems the WWFFL auctions need a little drama after the transition players are bid on and after the rookie draft. Otherwise, the auction format is just as much of a snooze as a draft day. I guess you would feel better having one of your own owners acting as the auctioneer instead of somebody who is completely unbiased and knowledgeable enough to drive a fair market value of most players. I expect next year I will be replaced by some English drone standing in front of you all sipping his tea.

[tbirds]

Actually Scott's auction stye is perfect - "going once, going twice, gone" and you have about 3 seconds to decide if you want him or not. Actually if we could get a computer-driven metronome, that would be perfect

Darren not only had 20 seconds between bids to think about the player (and the fact that Scott and I were bidding on him), the auctioneer did him the service of polling the league and telling him what position and team FWP played for. Darren may be clueless, but he's smart enough to know that if Scott and I are interested in a player he's never heard of - he might as well join the bidding.

And the "bid is $10, do I hear $20?" stuff also grates on my nerves. No, you don't hear $20, you hear $10. Give people 3 seconds to think and then start closing out the bidding with an even-cadenced "going, going, gone." If Marvin Harrison goes for $5 because no one responds, that's not your problem - it's not your job to egg-on the bidding. You, unlike a carnival-barker, have no vested interest in what the commodity is sold for.

We absolutely DON'T want someone knowledgeable enough to drive a fair-market value. Any drama or commentary during the auction assists those who have no idea what they're doing (ie Darren). How am I going to bid on sleepers if I have an auctioneer who informs the league of their value during the bidding? That would be the same as me sitting at your draft and spouting out publicly who I would take next if I had the bid.

[waxx]

Point well taken. Although I believe you are exaggerating my style quite a bit. I've done the same style every other year I was your auctioneer. You should have something before I started. And I did change my style per your request on that day. Gee... I feel really unwanted to be your auctioneer again in the future.

[cafflcommish]

Hello WWFFLers. Seems I have upset one of your fellow owners in regards to my overwhelming influence to your auction day. Would anybody else care to comment? I've always auctioned the same way and I just love reactionary bitching in lieu of somebody coming to me before the auction and telling me how it should be done. So with that, please let me know your thoughts on how I should auction in case I do that for you in the future.

[tbirds]

Don't take it all personal-like, geez. If I was a completely uninformed, weak fantasy owner I'd love your style of auctioneering.

The one drawback to auction-style bidding is that people can parasite-bid with strong owners. It's not a new tactic but your style pronounces it. I make it a point never to mention the name of anyone I'm interested in at the auction, but I was hoping FWP wouldn't go and I'd pick him up at the end for $1 - and if Scott wasn't there I would have.

Gotta pick up players exclusively off waivers from now on...


Good guidelines for a good auctioneer (these don't all apply to you):

1. Loud clear voice.
2. Repeat the name at the beginning of the bidding and just before "going once, going twice" - and when asked. Don't repeat the name over and over.
3. Don't "carnival bark" bidding suggestions. If the bid is $10, sit in silence for about 3 seconds before closing out the bid. Don't suggest $20, don't even suggest $11.
4. Close out the bidding in an even cadence.
5. NEVER point out the player's vital stats to the masses, or make any commentary on the player whatsoever. If other owners in the room want to yell out suggestions to others, it's poor etiquette but the auctioneer should never facilitate it.
6. Give owners about 3 seconds to bid before starting the closeout. Don't allow extra time because you don't feel the bid is where it should be or because there was interest in the player.

That's the perfect auctioneer. You generally do a pretty good job, just too dramatic for my taste.

[waxx]

Again, point well taken. I recall doing more of that when I first started auctioning for your league. But I must contest that you are greatly exaggerating my performance this year. I made it a point to go into your auction and not offer any leads. I am not sure where you are coming from with FWP. I did not know anything of him myself.

I generally will announce who a player is and who he plays for to keep the auction moving along. I also will ask for higher bids when a player warrants them. Your auction would last 8 hours if I did not. It drives me nuts when somebody throws out a player like Marvin Harrison and starts the bidding at $10 and the next bid is $11 and then somebody raises it to $12 and so on. I feel I know enough about the market value of players in your league - in so much as to keep the auction moving along.

I will certainly take your points into consideration but I would like to hear from other owners in your league on this matter.

And I am taking it personal because you started all this by blaming me for you not getting FWP. I don't think I influenced your auction that much - for any player.

[hammers]

Wow. You must've really upset Rick, Mitch. You got him to actually write up guidelines. Too bad he couldn't have thought ahead to provide you with these PRIOR to the Auction.
I didn't find anything incongruent with your Auctioneering style. Rick is correct that there was some additional "drama" included with "Fast" Willie Parker, but this same "drama" existed for other bids as well (Portis, Culpepper, Harrison, etc). It's also nothing new as you've done this same thing with other players in past seasons.
I don't recall there being an excessive amount of time being given for bidding on Parker, as Rick claims. It was towards the end of the Auction and some owners were only half-paying attention and asking who the player up for bid was? There was a general "commotion" going on unrelated to the bidding at the time and that may have hindered things a bit. Again, this wouldn't be anything exclusive to the Willie Parker bidding and would be quite routine at that point in the Auction.
I know Darren has admitted to basically bidding on Parker only because Scott and Rick were. He's unabashed about it. He didn't do it because of anything you said. He did it because he knew Rick and Scott wanted him and he had more money than both of them so he tried to (rather successfully) screw them. I also know that "Fuck" Willie Parker is the reason I lost to Darren in Week One.
That aside, I have no problem with your Auctioneering style and appreciate the effort you put forth each time. I could care less if you ask for $25 when the bid is $20. If I think he's worth $25, I'll pay that. Otherwise there's nothing anyone can say that'll make me bid more. I'm certain most of our owners share that sentiment.
Rick may have a point about toning down the "drama" towards the end of the Auction while owners are looking for "bargains". It's fine when a consensus top 3 player is up for bidding...everyone knows who it is and what they're worth, but at the end it may be best to express a more monotone procedure and keep it static.
Rick just wants to try and prove he "predicted" FWP's performance so he can try and pass himself as knowledgeable. He's going to completely gloss over the fact he also gambled on the Minn RB situation (kept Bennett and traded for Moore) and instead try to place the focus on your Auctioneering style.
You should feel some sense of pride, Mitch. You're the 2005 Thunderbirds scapegoat. You join previous seasons scapegoats, M.Shannahan, Scott Topping, myself and the entire NFL (which has conspired against him repeatedly). Rick tries to get his excused lined up quickly as his seasons can turn to shit real quick. If his team sucks, you'll hear about this again before the seasons out. If it's good, he may just let it go.
We'll have to wait and see.

J

[waxx]

Rick may have a point about toning down the "drama" towards the end of the Auction while owners are looking for "bargains". It's fine when a consensus top 3 player is up for bidding...everyone knows who it is and what they're worth, but at the end it may be best to express a more monotone procedure and keep it static.

J

I certainly agree here and if Rick might recall, I had been redirected by him about one hour into the auction. So by the time the end was nearing, I was very monotone and static. I would even go so far as to say that Rick had redirected me before FWP was brought up for bidding. And finally, if we recall, I was not even performing the role of the auctioneer toward the end of the draft. Scott was mostly.

I am proud to have been added to Rick's list of external focus regarding why he sucks so bad.

[tbirds]

There's no excuses - I'm still one of the best teams in the league right now. I had planned on getting 4-5 good weeks out of FWP before having to activate SJax. So it cost me 1 win, no big deal.

I had redirected you on MHarrison because someone had bid $10 or so and you said "Come on, let's get the bidding going" or something to that effect and suggested a significantly higher bid. I wasn't even involved in the bidding but I would've been ticked had I been. Don't worry what the bid is, the market will determine the value.

If the auctioneer doesn't like where the bid is on a big-name player - too bad. I remember Anton and I taking JBettis from $30 to $70 one dollar at a time. It's not the auctioneer's duty to voice his opinion on particular players or to "encourage" bidding.

I wouldn't say I "predicted" FWP's performance, J - I always bid $20+ on random 3rd RBs. To tell you the truth, I just wanted FWP because I thought he was cute.

and finally - MBennett will never be a Tbird again, for any reason.

[oilers]

I think I can speak for the entire league (except for Rick) when I say I am extremely impressed with Mitch's auction style and appreciative of his annual efforts.

Its obvious to me that Mitch does it out of love for the game and I will continue to welcome his presence more than ever in order to throw Rick off his game.

Mitch, thanks for taking the bullet this year. Without your voice patterns to blame, the excuse this year would have been I was sitting too close, we started late, the snacks were too spicy, the basement too hot.....and so on

[waxx]

Interesting Rick that you say you were planning on riding FWP 4 - 5 weeks. I believe at the time of your auction, FWP was still Pittsburg's #3 RB. It was only until that following Monday that there was any indication that FWP would get the start. And even then, it was projected that he would have only got the start for week one and week two. Are you sleeping with Bill or something? You have a friend in Pittsburg working the scoop for you?

Also interesting that you recall redirecting me right after Marvin Harrison. If I recall, FWP was brought up for bidding after Marvin Harrison. Am I wrong on that one? I also recall that after you redirected me, I asked how I was doing a few players later. And you said I was doing fine.

Well - at least it was good to get this feedback before I started doing your auction. Oh wait, it was good to get this feedback after the 1st time. Oh wait, it was good to get it after the 2nd time. Oh wait, it was good to get it after the 3rd time. Oh wait....

All of a sudden, I don't feel so bad. You should have quit while you were ahead.

Spoken like Hawk Harrelson - "I luuuv stirring up shit!"

P.S. How is the job going??

[tbirds]

Would I spend every available dollar I had at the auction to try to get a 3rd RB if I didn't think he was gonna start? The guy looked awesome last year too (I think I had him briefly on my roster last year) but could tell he wasn't gonna see the light of day.

I realize my foresight in FF seems to border on some sort of sixth sense, apparently incomprehensible to you pretenders. That's why I now involve myself with the worst coaches in the league (Haslett, Martz, and Tice) - I need a challenge.